Why I'm Glad I Have a Dark Side
by Spunky0ne
Summary: After the quincy war, Ichigo has some questions for the man with all of the answers...yaoi...Urahara/Ichigo


**Why I'm Glad I Have a Dark Side**

 **(An Urahara/Ichigo oneshot for GanymedeLullaby – Hope you feel better soon!)**

 **By Spunky0ne**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

As soon as the tenchurren landed roughly near the edge of the battlefield, the Karakura shopkeeper rushed out, ignoring the fact that nearly everything around the landing site had been reduced to rubble. If not for having programmed the landing coordinates himself, he wouldn't have recognized the place, about halfway between Central 46 and the ruined Kuchiki Manor. Fires still burned all around and black muck covered everything. It squished malevolently under his feet as he ran forward.

"Ichigo!"

A hard cough escaped him at the foul odor, and he squinted from the acrid sting of the smoke coming off of the thick, smelly stuff.

"Ugh!"

He spotted a slender form moving through the mess, a short distance ahead of him. As he called out Ichigo's name again, the young man turned and Urahara recognized instantly the sapphire colored eyes and the blue steel sword the man carried.

"Tetsuya, is that you?" he called out.

"Urahara-san!" Tetsuya shouted back, moving towards him carefully.

"Have you found Ichigo?" Kisuke asked quickly.

Tetsuya shook his head apologetically.

"Our security detail just found Ywach," he reported, "He is dead, but his body is radiating large amounts of reiatsu. Luckily for us, one of the Squad Zero taichos arrived ahead of you. He prepared the body for transport and took him back to the royal realm, so he wouldn't destabilize things here. We also found Aizen Sosuke, unconscious. I did my best to use my power to reconstruct the reiatsu restrictive chair that he was secured to before, and had him removed to a part of Muken that is still functional. In addition, our team also located Ukitake taicho and Renji-san. Ukitake taicho is with his subordinates, over that rise, and because Renji-san was unconscious, but his condition was stable, I had him evacuated to the encampment. I was just looking for Ichigo-san. I am the only healer available to treat the wounded now. Our clan healer, Michio-san, is at the ends of his strength and needs to rest."

"Sounds like you need to get back to the encampment."

Tetsuya gave him a worried look.

"Byakuya-sama? Rukia-chan?" he inquired.

"Safe," Kisuke reported, "and on their way to the encampment. They're pretty bushed, but their wounds were seen to before we left to come home. Orihime is still being treated, so we don't have her yet, but she'll come this way when she's well enough."

"Thank you, Urahara-san," Tetsuya said, bowing respectfully, "I will leave my Arashi with you…to transport Ichigo-san when you find him."

"Thank you, Tetsuya."

The two paused in their conversation as a flash step sounded and a filthy and battered looking young soldier with messy brown hair and large brown eyes appeared suddenly in front of them. At the sight of the other young man, Tetsuya's face instantly brightened.

"Rikichi-san!" he exclaimed, running to him and hugging him tightly, "I was so worried. We haven't heard from anyone from the Gotei through most of the war. Are you all right? Do you need healing?"

"No, no, I'm okay. I've been healed," Rikichi assured him, kissing him on the mouth and bringing a little flush to his cheeks, "I'm fine, Tetsu-chan, really. I was just sent to look for Kuchiki taicho and Abarai fukutaicho."

"Renji-san was injured in the fighting, but I had him evacuated to the family encampment," Tetsuya informed him, "Byakuya-sama and Rukia-chan are on their way to the encampment now."

"You two should run along and go relieve Michio-san. I'll find Ichigo and bring him to the encampment.

"Are you sure we shouldn't stay here to stand guard?" Rikichi asked, "There are still small groups of quincies in the area, causing trouble. Though most fled when Ywach fell and the Serieitei returned from the shadows, some remained to make desperation runs at our scattered forces, or to distract us so their comrades could get away."

"Arashi can stand guard for me," Kisuke assured him, "besides, Tetsuya, here, needs to get back to assist with healing at the Kuchiki encampment. Make sure he gets there safely, all right, Rikichi?"

"I will," Rikichi promised, taking Tetsuya's hand in his before the two flash stepped away together.

Kisuke huffed out a soft, amused breath, watching as they disappeared.

 _At least some things have survived this mess. So many lives ended here, it would be easy for a person to get depressed…especially when things are so broken everywhere. But, even though things got broken and people died, you were able to stop him, Ichigo. And I still feel the heavy presence of your reiatsu. You may be a wreck, but you would be ready in a minute to pick yourself up, go out there and risk it all again._

 _Maybe that's why…I can't say it to you._

He moved forward again, choosing his path carefully to avoid as much of the steaming muck on the ground as possible. He came over a small rise and found a male and female shinigami, kneeling silently at the side of the fallen twelfth division taicho.

 _Damn it._

 _I don't remember a time when there wasn't an Ukitake Juushiro. And of all of the taichos, he was the one who worked closest with me. Despite the ban that kept me from entering Soul Society for so many years, he never believed what I was accused of. He was a good man, and a gifted talent._

"Arashi," he said quietly.

The two younger officers stiffened at the sound of his voice, peering through the billowing smoke, their hands on their weapons.

"Take it easy," Kisuke soothed them, "It's just me…Urahara."

"Oh, Urahara-san," Kiyone sighed, brushing sweaty hairs away from her face with a dirt smudged hand, "Sorry, we were told to watch out for quincies. We're keeping Ukitake taicho safe until he is stable enough to move."

"Stable?" Urahara repeated, blinking in surprise as he noticed the gentle rise and fall of Juushiro's breathing, "But, I thought that…"

"It was Kuchiki taicho's cousin, Tetsuya-san who managed to heal him," Kiyone recounted in a still shocked tone, "His lungs were eaten away, but somehow Tetsuya-san was able to regenerate them using his powers."

 _That's unexpected_ , Kisuke mused, his melancholy easing, _but very welcome. That was going to be a bitter one to swallow._

 _Thanks, Tetsuya-san._

"It's still dangerous around here," Kisuke said, "Why don't you let Arashi send you and Juushiro to the first division. It's where Kyoraku sotaicho will want to watch over him."

"Yes sir," Kiyone answered, "Thank you."

"No problem," Kisuke answered kindly.

Tetsuya's tall black stallion moved closer, and his head bowed as he invoked the power of his absent master. The horse's blue eyes glowed for a moment as the bodies of the three shinigamis seemed to lose their color, then they disappeared, leaving a splash of water where each had been.

"Thanks, Arashi."

He felt a little tickle of returning warmth as the stallion's face rubbed up against his cheek.

"I'm okay," Kisuke chuckled, rubbing behind the pretty Arabian's ears, "I just need to find Ichigo. It's hard with this gunk all over. It's interfering with our senses. I'm glad I don't have to clean it up."

Arashi snorted and gave an equine nod.

Kisuke stopped for a moment, noting that they were nearly at the boundary that had been set around the area affected by Mimhagi's black, gooey reiatsu. He almost missed the little splash of ginger hair that had managed to defy the crawling ooze all around Ichigo's collapsed body. Kisuke flash stepped to Ichigo's side, calling to Arashi, who spun a quick waterform that he swirled around the unconscious man, rinsing away the sticky muck and bringing Ichigo awake, coughing and sputtering.

"Ack! What the hell?" he stammered as he sat up, glaring and brushing a mess of ginger hairs out of his eyes, "What was that for?"

"I think he was just trying to clean you up, so you won't get that nasty stuff all over him when he has to carry you back to the Kuchiki encampment," Kisuke laughed.

"Bleagh!" the younger man spat, expelling water from his mouth and nose, "Disgusting!"

Arashi snorted and stamped a dainty foot.

"It's okay, Arashi," Kisuke said, smirking, "I think he meant the black gunk, not the water."

"I kinda meant both," Ichigo huffed, wringing out a soaked sleeve, then wiping it across his dripping face.

"Maybe you don't want to get Arashi mad at you," the shopkeeper advised him, "He might just decide to dump you in something worse."

"Like what?" Ichigo complained, fishing his sword out of the mess and holding it out while Arashi loosed a more focused spray, "This stuff is about as gross as it gets."

Ichigo looked around quizzically, then back at the shopkeeper, who smiled patiently.

"So, uh, what happened?" the younger man asked, shaking his head and loosing droplets of water in all directions, some of them splashing onto the waiting stallion. Arashi snorted and emitted a very soft growl.

"Huh?" Ichigo mused, "you did it to me. You can't complain if I get you with a little water you threw at me."

"What happened?" Kisuke repeated, "From what I heard, you practically cut Ywach in half. I'm kinda curious about how you managed that, considering all of the trouble he caused you before."

"Well," Ichigo said, looking up at the clearing sky above them, "like usual, I had help. I don't know where he got it, or when he decided to help us, but Uryu had some crazy arrow that froze Ywach's powers, so that I could get in a killing strike."

Kisuke thought for a moment, then his eyes widened slightly.

"That's right," he said more softly, "Ishida Ryuuken was trying to understand why his wife, Katagiri, suddenly died in the _Auswhalen_. He and I spoke several times and we both made attempts to figure things out. It looks like he discovered something that he was able to pass on to Uryu. I'm glad. Both your family and Uryu's were damaged badly by Ywach's treachery."

He laid a hand on Arashi's shoulder, and the stallion stood quietly as the shopkeeper helped Ichigo onto his back.

"A couple hundred years ago, the shinigamis attempted to completely annihilate the quincy people. Their numbers were decimated, but some escaped into the living world, or into the shadows. They rebuilt their race, and they were living contentedly in the shadows, when Ywach used the memory of that former travesty to awaken their hatred of the shinigamis. He used that to start this war."

Ichigo sighed, his eyes downcast as he remembered.

"He was just using them…all of them," he recounted sadly, "And when he was done with them, he took back the power he had given them, along with their lives and their powers, all so that he could rule over everything. I don't know what kind of world he was gonna create, but it's no world I could ever live in."

"Well," Kisuke said, smiling wearily, "because of you, none of us have to know what he would have created. The world we know now, is the one you've changed by making yourself a part of it."

Ichigo gave him a curious look.

"How do you mean?" he asked, "Cause I just see broken buildings and sense that thousands of people are dead."

"But," Kisuke reminded him, "we could have lost everything. We could be dead, ourselves, or living in the nightmare that bastard had planned for us. Instead, we can rebuild all of this. And the thing is…when we do, it'll be different than it used to be, different in the way you made it by caring enough to fight your hardest to save everyone."

Ichigo turned his head and looked quietly in the direction of Sokyoku Hill.

"I'm going to miss the old man," he commented.

"Me too," Kisuke agreed, "but I think old man Yama would tell us to just get on with remaking things. He was here, taking care of this place for over a thousand years. It's someone else's turn."

"Do you think the noble families will just run everything, seeing as how the king died? Or will they just make a new king?"

Kisuke looked up into the sky.

 _I know without having to ask, just what's gone on up there. Squad Zero is using Ywach's body to keep the balance. And probably, they'll run the heavens and Central 46 will run Soul Society, much like it's been. Ichigo doesn't need to be troubled with that. I'm sure it will be hushed up…although, Rukia and Renji are likely to learn of it. I wonder if they'll tell him._

 _I'll leave that to them._

"We should go," he said, moving to join Ichigo on the horse's back.

"Right," Ichigo agreed, closing his eyes and breathing in slowly, then releasing, "It's over. It's really over."

Kisuke nudged Arashi into a walk and he pressed up against Ichigo's damp back, enjoying the scent of the younger man and the resonant flickers of his powerful reiatsu that drifted back, over his shoulder to tease the shopkeeper.

"Kisuke?" Ichigo inquired as the stallion carried them towards the encampment, "you know, I wouldn't have come so far…wouldn't have been able to take down Ywach, without you. Hell, I wouldn't have lived past the night I met Byakuya and he almost cut me in half."

"Eh, I didn't do so much, just tried to make sure you didn't die. I didn't actually have any involvement in the fighting, except this last time."

Ichigo glanced back at him over a slim shoulder.

"Sure you did," he said with certainty, "You prepared my friends and me for the battles we had to fight, and when things went wrong, it was you who helped us figure things out and get through it all.

"We were all just doing what we had to."

"Sure," Ichigo agreed, blinking sleepily, "I'm just glad we got to do it together."

"Me too."

Kisuke's smile grew a shade more affectionate.

"You look really beat. Why don't you lean back against me and try to sleep? It'll be a little while, but Arashi's got a gentle gait. He told me he's used to Tetsuya sleeping on his back while he walks and grazes."

"Okay," Ichigo replied, leaning back against the shopkeeper's partially uncovered chest and closing his eyes, "I am really tired."

"You should be after killing a god," Kisuke chortled, making the younger man's head bob, where it laid near his shoulder.

Ichigo let out a little laugh and sank deeper into the elder man's chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. His warm, masculine scent drifted out from the folds of his clothing, teasing Ichigo's senses as he drifted towards sleep.

 _I feel safe._

 _Ever since I began to grow my powers, I've had to be the one to make everyone else feel safe. Not that I minded. I wanted the power to protect everyone, and when I found I had that power, I knew I had a responsibility to use it to help the people I care about. All along, it's been Kisuke who has supported me, giving me what I needed to move further and further beyond the kid I used to be._

 _I wonder sometimes._

 _Why does he do it? Why does he just jump in and help like that? He was framed by Aizen and banished from Soul Society. He didn't have to help anyone. He could've held a grudge, could've refused to help my mom and dad. Then, I wouldn't have been born. And if I wasn't born, Rukia would've died. Byakuya would be heartbroken. Aizen might've won, or if not him, then Ywach. In each of those conflicts, it was clear that I had a reason that I was fighting._

 _Kisuke's reasons aren't so clear to me._

 _Did he save me that night because he anticipated needing my powers? Was he just curious because I was different? Was it because I'm Kurosaki Isshin's son and he felt he owed my dad?_

 _Why?_

 _Why does he always help me?_

 _Why is Kisuke always there for me to turn to?_

Ichigo felt the horse come to a stop, and soft voices sounded around him. Too weary to surface completely, he clung to the shopkeeper's arm and shoulder, making Kisuke chuckle as he gently extracted himself and helped the encampment guards take him down from the horse's back.

"Is he injured?" he heard Tetsuya's worried voice ask.

"His injuries are minor, but he needs his reiatsu restored and he needs to get some sleep," Kisuke answered, "Give me a sec. I'll get down and you can give him to me."

 _It feels so natural to be placed in this man's care_ , Ichigo thought as he was set back in Kisuke's arms and carried into the Kuchiki compound.

He caught glimpses of high stone walls and a barely visible barrier, simple, sparse furnishings chosen for their functionality. But when they reached his quarters, he was laid down in a sinfully soft bed, and his clothing was opened so that the shopkeeper and Tetsuya could restore his reiatsu completely.

"Tetsuya-san," a youthful male voice called from the doorway, "there are more injured coming in."

"Go on," Kisuke urged him, "Ichigo will be fine now. I've got him."

"Thank you, Urahara-san," Tetsuya said gratefully.

Soft footsteps sounded, then the door closed, leaving Ichigo alone with Kisuke. The shopkeeper leaned over him, continuing to provide a steady flow of restorative energy.

"You know, I'm okay now. You don't have to keep doing that," he informed the elder man.

Kisuke smiled.

"You don't know what you need," he teased, "Be quiet and sleep."

 _When does he ever let down?_

 _When does Kisuke sleep?_

 _He's always there for everyone. Who is there for him? I never see him take much interest in anyone. I thought once that he might be in love with Yoruichi, but I've never seen them act like there was anything more than friendship between them. I wonder if he's ever had a lover._

 _He's never talked about that._

 _He never talks about anything private._

Ichigo's eyes opened and looked up, catching Kisuke's gaze and earning a curious look from the Karakura shopkeeper.

"Thanks, I feel better now."

Kisuke nodded and withdrew his healing power, then he sat back on his bottom and rubbed his eyes.

"You should get some rest too," Ichigo advised him.

"Yeah, I'll get to that," Kisuke yawned, "Have to check in with Tetsuya and see where I'm supposed to go."

"I heard them say on the way in that space is tight," Ichigo recalled.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"Kinda. I was kind of dozing. Anyway, I heard there's not a lot of space for everyone, and more wounded are coming in."

"Which means, I should go and…"

"Which means," Ichigo said, "that you should lie down here with me. There's room, and I will probably sleep better with you here."

"Huh?" Kisuke mused, studying Ichigo's sincere expression, "Well, I guess, if you don't mind sharing."

"It's fine," Ichigo chuckled, moving over slightly to make room.

Kisuke laid down on his back, and the two look quietly up at the stone ceiling, blinking in the soft kido light in the room.

"I'm having a little trouble drifting off again," Ichigo complained, "We should do something to waste a little time while we get sleepy…unless you're already sleepy."

"Kinda, but I'm not quite ready to sleep yet. What did you have in mind?"

Ichigo ran his fingers through the messy ends of his hair.

"I dunno. Maybe we could talk a little?" he suggested.

"What's to say?" Kisuke laughed softly, "We kinda know what there is to know about each other."

"Not really," Ichigo said, glancing at the shopkeeper out of the corner of a golden brown eye, "I mean, you know everything there is to know about me, but I really don't know much about you at all."

"You know Aizen framed me for making the vizards," Kisuke reminded him, "and that I was responsible for your dad's disappearance from Soul Society."

"You were not!" Ichigo objected, "Aizen sent the hollow that infected my mother. You helped to keep her alive. Look, Kisuke, I know the things you've done, but I really don't know anything about _you_."

Kisuke sighed.

"There's not anything much to know," he said, matter-of-factly, "It's all pretty much as you see it."

"Have you ever been in love?" Ichigo asked, a little tickly throb going through his belly as he spoke, "I don't know that."

"Have I ever been in love?" the shopkeeper repeated, sounding amused, "Who's got time for something like that? I've been too busy, first with experiments, then with saving people from the plots of all of the madmen who keep popping up around here."

"Have you ever been attracted to someone?" the younger man pressed, turning on his side to look at his elder companion, "I used to think you and Yoruichi…"

"Naw," Kisuke laughed, "we are like siblings. We've never looked at each other any other way…although we've been inappropriate around each other. But we've never been attracted to each other as lovers."

"Just as troublemakers," Ichigo snickered.

"Yeah, you got that right."

"I keep wondering what it will be like to fall in love," Ichigo sighed, closing his eyes, "to have someone want to kiss me and have sex with me."

"Heh, you do know that Orihime has a thing for you," Kisuke said, smirking.

"She's more like a sister," Ichigo said, frowning, "I know she might be interested in me as a boyfriend, but…I don't know if I could…you know…"

"Why not? Are you interested in other guys?" Kisuke asked, "You know, Tetsuya is homosexual."

"He likes that guy from the sixth, you know…um…"

"Rikichi?" Kisuke supplied, "Oh yeah, I did see them kissing. Well, there are Byakuya and Tetsuya's cute attendants, Torio and Koji. Or, what about your friend, Uryu?"

"No way!" Ichigo laughed, "Uryu's just a chum…and before you say it, Sado is too. I like all of them, but I don't feel something, you know, _more_ than just friendship."

"Well, is there anyone you do feel different about?"

He read the little blush that rose on the younger man's cheeks and felt a soft jolt inside. Kisuke's pale grey eyes focused on Ichigo's.

"That expression on your face," he noted, "Ichigo, are you…interested in _me_?"

Ichigo sucked in a quick breath, his heart pounding.

"You…do know that I'm way too old for you."

"What's too old? I mean, I know about the different ways that shinigamis and humans age, but I'm of age to be in a relationship now. I don't think it's wrong for me to see someone older than me. Unless, you're telling me that you're not interested in me…"

"I didn't say that," Kisuke insisted.

"Then, what are you saying?" Ichigo asked, looking more deeply into his eyes, "Are you interested in me or not? It's not a tough question, is it? I mean, if you have to think about it a lot, then maybe you don't. But if you're just dragging your feet because you question if you should be the one with me, then, for a genius wo can think circles around everyone, you're being pretty stupid."

"You don't mince words, do you?" the shopkeeper laughed.

"Nope," Ichigo said, brashly leaning forward and pressing his lips to his surprised mentor's.

And as much as he was sure he shouldn't be doing such a thing, especially with an old friend's son, Kisuke couldn't resist the feel of those perfect, soft lips rubbing amorously against his. Ichigo's hands pushed his top more open, and his fingers played teasingly with the elder man's dusky nipples, eliciting an aggressive warning glint in Kisuke's eyes. He moved so that he laid on top of the younger man, and he opened his mouth as they kissed harder, pushing his tongue in between Ichigo's lips and tasting the inside of his warm mouth hungrily.

"Mmmm," Ichigo sighed, opening his eyes to enjoy the enthralled look on the shopkeeper's face as their mouths met again and their hands slowly deprived each other of the layers of their clothing, until the two laid, naked and pressed against each other. Ichigo's feisty mouth snapped at the elder man's voraciously, and his hands caressed and tickled the vast expanses of soft skin, pale from being indoors so much. He slid a hand down over Kisuke's trim belly, then sought the flushed and alert privates that waited for his attention.

Kisuke almost stopped him as Ichigo crawled down his body, following the path of his hands, kissing and licking all the way, but he found that he couldn't force out the words, and instead, he was carried away by the first ever touch of a lover's hand on his long deprived and harshly aching genitals.

"Ichigo!" he gasped warningly.

His back arched and a lurid groan escaped his lips as Ichigo's mouth inhaled him, pleasuring shamelessly as a wetted, seeking finger invaded, searching out that place inside him that no one had ever dared to touch. Bright stars exploded instantly behind his eyes, and he tried to pull away as he climaxed violently.

He was shocked all over again as he watched Ichigo struggle for a moment, almost choking, then the younger man swallowed repeatedly, feeding shamelessly on his essence. Another powerful jolt went through the enchanted shopkeeper as Ichigo's pink tongue ran over his lips, treasuring the taste of his lover.

"You shouldn't have done that this first time we're together," Kisuke chided him, "You could have choked."

"I did okay," Ichigo said, smirking, "Wanna try me?"

"Oh gods, I don't think I can resist an invitation like that," Kisuke laughed, rolling the younger man onto his back and thoroughly enjoying the treasure of his soft, sweet tasting flesh and proud, erect nipples. He worked his way down Ichigo's slim body slowly, enjoying every inch of him, and gradually regaining his own erection. He dampened his fingers and began a gentle, purposeful invasion, watching Ichigo's eyes carefully for any sign of pain. But the younger man just writhed and moaned impatiently under his mouth and hands, panting out his name and pleading for him to go on.

"You really wanna do that right now?" Kisuke asked, "We're both pretty beat, and we only just…"

His words ended in a grunt of surprise as he was flipped onto his back, and Ichigo mounted him, spreading his creamy thighs and bringing himself slowly down into the other man, joining their bodies in slow, measured thrusts that left the reeling shopkeeper nearly breathless.

"Ichigo!" he gasped, trying to control his ardent hips that wanted badly to thrust upward into the golden bliss on top of him, "For kami's sake!"

Ichigo's thighs pressed against the shopkeeper's sides, and he writhed and ground his hips so sensuously, the shopkeeper wasn't sure he could hold back. He gritted his teeth, staring through squinted eyes at the masculine beauty on top of him, relishing the beautiful expression the younger man wore that told him in no uncertain terms just what was happening between them. Within moments, the two reached the edges of bliss and threw themselves over, groaning with pleasure as their bodies seized and released together. They collapsed in a sweaty tangle, kissing and caressing each other more tenderly as both began to drift off.

"You know, Isshin is going to kill me for having sex with his son," Kisuke sighed, without a hint of penitence.

"Yeah?" Ichigo chuckled, "Well, he didn't tell me the truth about my mom for almost eighteen years. So, maybe we just won't tell him."

"Ichigo…"

"Shut up and kiss me some more."

"Okay."


End file.
